NLP - 5 Big Mistakes in Interpersonal Communication and How to Avoid It (Must Know)
Many people invest a lot of energy in improving interpersonal communication and social connections.
But most of us really like to be around, the technical things that look outward. And we often forget what really matters.
So now I want to talk about 5 very fundamental and deep mistakes in interpersonal communication that at least 80% of our communication problems are because we do them.
These are mistakes that hardly anyone is referring to. And so this article is super important because getting to know them can prevent a lot of frustration and upgrading the media in dozens of counts.
* By the way, I'm not going to give you just slogans that don't really help, but concrete things that can be fixed.
So stay with me and think about where it touches your life personally.
The 5 biggest mistakes in interpersonal communication
Mistake # 1
So now I want to talk about 5 very fundamental and deep mistakes in interpersonal communication that at least 80% of our communication problems are because we do them.
These are mistakes that hardly anyone is referring to. And so this article is super important because getting to know them can prevent a lot of frustration and upgrading the media in dozens of counts.
* By the way, I'm not going to give you just slogans that don't really help, but concrete things that can be fixed.
So stay with me and think about where it touches your life personally.
The 5 biggest mistakes in interpersonal communication
Mistake # 1
In interpersonal communication - lack of presence in the conversation
If there is one thing that hurts interpersonal communication more than anything, it is lack of comfort. It's like broadcasting to the other person "You don't really care about me"
Here are a few key ways this mistake manifests itself:
Look sideways to look for other (more cool) people.
Messing around on a cellphone.
Allow any distraction to get us out of the conversation.
Don't look into your eyes.
To brood.
As you realize it is a mistake that is not easy to fix, because it is not something that can be forged, we must really be interested in the person and be active in listening. But if it is important for us to produce good communication it is imperative.
possible solutions:
Look in the eyes.
Practice mindfulness.
Mute the cellphone.
Thinking about what I can learn from this person, what's interesting about him.
* By the way, being present in the conversation will also make you more charismatic and attractive. Charisma researcher Olivia Focus argues that this is the most important element of charisma and experiment that examined what is most appealing about a man, the parameter that was most unambiguous is the power of conversation. So worth practicing for it.
Mistake # 2
If there is one thing that hurts interpersonal communication more than anything, it is lack of comfort. It's like broadcasting to the other person "You don't really care about me"
Here are a few key ways this mistake manifests itself:
Look sideways to look for other (more cool) people.
Messing around on a cellphone.
Allow any distraction to get us out of the conversation.
Don't look into your eyes.
To brood.
As you realize it is a mistake that is not easy to fix, because it is not something that can be forged, we must really be interested in the person and be active in listening. But if it is important for us to produce good communication it is imperative.
possible solutions:
Look in the eyes.
Practice mindfulness.
Mute the cellphone.
Thinking about what I can learn from this person, what's interesting about him.
* By the way, being present in the conversation will also make you more charismatic and attractive. Charisma researcher Olivia Focus argues that this is the most important element of charisma and experiment that examined what is most appealing about a man, the parameter that was most unambiguous is the power of conversation. So worth practicing for it.
Mistake # 2
In interpersonal communication - have two conversations at the same time
On a rough level: The intention is to really interrupt a person in his words. While it is natural and the urge to say something important, in practice when you don't let a person finish the sentence it's like saying: "What I have to say is more important than what you have to say." And that is a disrespectful expression.
Of course, I believe it doesn't happen much to the civilized people who read my articles, but there is something more subtle and no less problematic that we all certainly do and is.
Mistake # 2.5
On a rough level: The intention is to really interrupt a person in his words. While it is natural and the urge to say something important, in practice when you don't let a person finish the sentence it's like saying: "What I have to say is more important than what you have to say." And that is a disrespectful expression.
Of course, I believe it doesn't happen much to the civilized people who read my articles, but there is something more subtle and no less problematic that we all certainly do and is.
Mistake # 2.5
Internal speech is incessant.
While it is clear to all of us it is impossible to have a conversation when both parties are talking at the same time, and we still do it all the time, because we are talking inside our heads and thinking:
What shall we say?
How do I respond?
How does this relate to our lives?
And that doesn't really allow us to stop and listen.
Even worse, we make assumptions before we hear the whole message, completing sentences in mind.
We judge what our conversation means and give it a commentary without any real attempt to get out of ourselves and look through its perspective. And that's not really listening, it's also what makes us really burst out and interrupt it in the middle.
possible solutions:
While listening, really listen to the other person without trying to complete the words and without thinking about how we are going to respond.
Wait for a 2-3 second pause before pushing a sentence.
Mistake # 3
While it is clear to all of us it is impossible to have a conversation when both parties are talking at the same time, and we still do it all the time, because we are talking inside our heads and thinking:
What shall we say?
How do I respond?
How does this relate to our lives?
And that doesn't really allow us to stop and listen.
Even worse, we make assumptions before we hear the whole message, completing sentences in mind.
We judge what our conversation means and give it a commentary without any real attempt to get out of ourselves and look through its perspective. And that's not really listening, it's also what makes us really burst out and interrupt it in the middle.
possible solutions:
While listening, really listen to the other person without trying to complete the words and without thinking about how we are going to respond.
Wait for a 2-3 second pause before pushing a sentence.
Mistake # 3
In Interpersonal Communication - Reply to a story on story
Know these people who no matter what you tell them, they will respond to your story with something cooler that happened to them or their uncle or something they read online ..? It's annoying, right?
But we all do it sometimes, we all have to tell and talk about ourselves.
What we do not realize is that if a person comes enthusiastically to tell us something, he wants our attention, and even if something similar and more interesting happens. It is better not to tell because we want to give his story the place and respect.
Otherwise, it broadcasts "What you just said is where you will hear something really interesting"
possible solutions:
Know these people who no matter what you tell them, they will respond to your story with something cooler that happened to them or their uncle or something they read online ..? It's annoying, right?
But we all do it sometimes, we all have to tell and talk about ourselves.
What we do not realize is that if a person comes enthusiastically to tell us something, he wants our attention, and even if something similar and more interesting happens. It is better not to tell because we want to give his story the place and respect.
Otherwise, it broadcasts "What you just said is where you will hear something really interesting"
possible solutions:
Just listen and show interest in the story of the other.
If you really have to, you can tell by the way, but not in a way that takes the place of the previous story.
Mistake # 4
If you really have to, you can tell by the way, but not in a way that takes the place of the previous story.
Mistake # 4
In interpersonal communication - try to solve problems
If we did not ask us to offer solutions, do not offer solutions. Most people don't know how to get advice, they see it as a criticism and then we didn't help them either and we hurt the media.
Also, many times people talk about their problems just to vent, they are not looking for a solution at all, they just need someone to listen to them, and if we answer them honestly, then we will not allow them to provide the real need.
possible solutions:
Examine whether we really want to help or just voice our wisdom.
If it really is a desire to help, ask the person whether he or she wants to hear our advice. if not. It's better to shut up.
Especially if we are practical in nature, remembering that not everyone is like that, there are people who generally need attention.
Mistake # 5
If we did not ask us to offer solutions, do not offer solutions. Most people don't know how to get advice, they see it as a criticism and then we didn't help them either and we hurt the media.
Also, many times people talk about their problems just to vent, they are not looking for a solution at all, they just need someone to listen to them, and if we answer them honestly, then we will not allow them to provide the real need.
possible solutions:
Examine whether we really want to help or just voice our wisdom.
If it really is a desire to help, ask the person whether he or she wants to hear our advice. if not. It's better to shut up.
Especially if we are practical in nature, remembering that not everyone is like that, there are people who generally need attention.
Mistake # 5
In interpersonal communication - ignore the values and beliefs of our conversation and talk about sensitive issues
Of course, that does not mean that we have to agree with his beliefs or opinions, but it is desirable that we respect them, even if it is stupid and illogical in his case. Otherwise, we may find ourselves in unnecessary conflicts.
possible solutions:
Remembering that there is no objective truth, every person has a different view and that is fine.
Maintain a discussion culture, and cut quickly if you get into a pointless debate.
To give up the need to be right and win, that is immature and unhelpful.
To downplay conversations about politics and religion.
The key to excellent interpersonal communication.
In summary, I think the key to avoiding all these mistakes and to make excellent communication is to really develop an attitude of curiosity and respect for the other's worldview, be interested in what he has to say and not try to fix it or change it.
It is not easy to implement, and just for that I made the detailed list of mistakes and solutions so that the next time they happen we will notice and avoid them, so it is worth repeating this article from time to time and also the Rapper article, because these are really ideas that can take the communication capabilities Ours is a few levels ahead.
Of course, that does not mean that we have to agree with his beliefs or opinions, but it is desirable that we respect them, even if it is stupid and illogical in his case. Otherwise, we may find ourselves in unnecessary conflicts.
possible solutions:
Remembering that there is no objective truth, every person has a different view and that is fine.
Maintain a discussion culture, and cut quickly if you get into a pointless debate.
To give up the need to be right and win, that is immature and unhelpful.
To downplay conversations about politics and religion.
The key to excellent interpersonal communication.
In summary, I think the key to avoiding all these mistakes and to make excellent communication is to really develop an attitude of curiosity and respect for the other's worldview, be interested in what he has to say and not try to fix it or change it.
It is not easy to implement, and just for that I made the detailed list of mistakes and solutions so that the next time they happen we will notice and avoid them, so it is worth repeating this article from time to time and also the Rapper article, because these are really ideas that can take the communication capabilities Ours is a few levels ahead.
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